


the scars we share

by Brook



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 03:03:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10151951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brook/pseuds/Brook
Summary: Abby and Marcus talk about the aftermath of all the Alie put them through.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this before season 4 started so it differs a bit from cannon, but I still really wanted to share it with you guys, hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you think! (My first Kabby fic so please be gentle)

It takes them forever to sort through the messes that Alie has left behind. The city of light might not have known pain but the real world does and countless of people had been tortured into taking the chip. 

Abby spends the afternoon running from patient to patient, stitching up wounds, caring for those she can help and putting others out of their misery. It’s emotionally exhausting and she’s glad that Marcus is there to handle the diplomatic side of things. 

While she’s in charge of her own team of doctors and the healers that king Roan has placed under her command, he handles the peacekeeping. Several arguments and fights have already been resolved by him and Indra. 

Every now and then she glances around to see if she can spot him and panics slightly until she finds him in the crowd. She’s been keeping away from him all day, unable to face him and is glad they’ve both been kept busy. She even let Jackson stitch up his wrists, not sure if could stand being confronted with the damage she’s done to him, despite the fact that she usually wouldn't have trusted anyone with his care but herself. 

When there’s nothing left to do for them anymore, all of their people having been accommodated for the night, they head up to the commanders chambers where Roan is expecting them for dinner. Abby would’ve rather he stay in bed but she knows there is no arguing with the king and it’s easier, not to mention in their best interest, just to accept his offer, and keep the peace. 

Marcus sits next to her during dinner and while she’s relieved to not have to look at him, she’s acutely aware of his presence. Any time they accidentally touch, hands brushing against each other, knees bumping, it sends shivers down her spine. 

It’s pretty obvious that Clarke has noticed because she shoots her a questioning glance after it’s happened a couple of times, but Abby just shakes her head slightly and Clarke doesn’t press, being preoccupied by Roan and and trying to keep their conversation going. 

At long last everyone around the table stands up and Abby realises the plates have been cleared away without her noticing. She follows them and leaves her seat, listening as Roan addresses them all. 

“I’ve set up several quarters for you to stay in while you’re here. Mikel will bring you” He says, motioning to a guard, mostly speaking to Marcus and herself. It’s apparent most of the other guests already know where they’re staying cause they leave with a quick nod goodnight. 

Clarke leaves without a guard too, after giving Abby a quick hug and bidding Marcus and the king good night. Abby notices that Bellamy follows her out the door without hesitation and smiles, however subdued, for the first time that day. 

It was inevitable really. 

She and Marcus say good night as well and then follow Mikel out into the hallway. 

They walk down several corridors, turning around so many corners that Abby loses track and she’s certain she won’t be able to find her way back tomorrow. She’ll worry about it when she has to though. 

Mikel finally stops outside a set of double doors and opens one of them, gesturing inside. “Ma'am”. 

She looks back at Marcus and is suddenly overwhelmed with panic at the thought of leaving his side. “We’ll share these quarters” She blurts out before she’s even aware of what she’s doing, what it implies. Marcus raises an eyebrow at her and she quickly turns to face Mikel again. 

"You can go now, thank you." Abby says, deciding against her better judgement that no matter how nervous she is to be around him right now, she’d still rather have Marcus close by. It’s a bold move but she might as well finish what she’s started. 

The guard nods solemnly and makes his way back down the corridor. 

They enter the chamber together, hardly straying more than a feet away from each other. She senses that he's just as reluctant to let her out of his sight as she is with him, having to ensure themselves constantly that the other is safe. 

She stops in the centre of the room, surveying it for a moment. It's spacious and light, candles on every available surface. 

When she turns around and faces him properly for the first time since they destroyed Alie there are tears running down her cheeks. Instinctively he moves even closer, cradling her face in his hands and brushing away the tear tracks with his thumbs. 

"It's okay Abby, we're okay. We survived" he says as he touches his forehead to hers. She fists her hands into the fabric of his shirt, holding on for dear life, as if it's the only anchor keeping her standing.

Abby closes her eyes and let’s herself finally feel everything she’s been pushing down all day for the sake of their people. It’s just her and Marcus now and she trusts him with her life, even more so, she trusts him with Clarke’s.

So she lets in the grieve and the pain and the overwhelming guilt. “I’m sorry Marcus”, She chokes out, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”. 

Her hands are still clinging to his shirt and it’s all she can do to not fall down as she drops her head to his shoulder and starts sobbing. He circles arms around her and holds her tight, mumbling calming words into her hair and rubbing a hand up and down her back. 

It suddenly becomes too much for her as she feels the rough bandages around his wrists. The ones jackson had had to put there because of the torture they’d put him through. The torture she’d put him through. And without warning she pulls away, not being able to stand his gentleness any longer. She doesn’t deserve it. 

Only when she feels she’s far away enough from him to focus again does she turn towards him again. “How can you even be near me?!” She all but shouts, and she’s not sure why but she feels almost angry, “After all I’ve put you through, after I let them torture you, why aren’t you angry? I don’t deserve your sympathy”. 

Marcus deflates and tries to step closer to her, stopping only when he sees her flinch. “You were being controlled Abby, it isn’t your fault. I know you’d never hurt me out of your own free will”. 

“I let them nail you to a cross Marcus. Me. I gave the order.” She whispers intently, and she gazes down, unable to look him the eye. He doesn’t know what to say to help ease her guilt, and before he has a chance to respond she continues. “No matter how you spin it, I made you take that chip”. 

He can’t stand not being near her any longer and he crosses the room till he’s just inches away from her, looking down at her face. “That’s not what happened. I wouldn’t have broken. No matter what I wasn’t going to take the chip” He says. 

“Then why did you?” She asks and he sighs. “Thelonious” He simply states, as if that explains all, but then he adds, “He made a persuasive argument. He knows me well”. 

The thought nearly brings a smile to his face but it’s still too fresh, too painful to look back on with anything but fear and desperation clawing at his heart. 

Abby feels something akin to anger bubble up in her chest and she has to remind herself to stay calm, that Jaha was being controlled as well and that he hadn’t meant for all of this to happen either. Still though, if he hurt Marcus he’s going to have to answer to her.

“What did he do to you?”. 

“Nothing.” He replies, “He didn’t have to do anything. He pointed a gun at your head and said he’d shoot you if I didn’t comply. I never even hesitated”. 

Finally she meets his eyes again. “Marcus why would you…” She stammers, “You could have died! Why would you risk everything?”. 

There is passion in her eyes, and he smiles at the familiarity of it, of arguing with her. “You know why” He states simply and he gently moves a lock of hair away from her face, letting his hand linger on the way back down to cup her cheek. 

Abby moves into the contact, comforted by his touch. “I need to hear you say it” She says, and there’s a vulnerability in her voice that hardly ever comes out, that’s usually reserved for Clarke. 

“I love you” Marcus utters, and it’s as everything falls into place. 

Their lips meet halfway, arms reaching for each other as if they’re afraid the other might disappear. Marcus’ hands slide down her back, pulling her body flush to his. Abby’s hands are in his hair, dragging his head down to her level. 

It’s not like the kiss they’d shared before he’d escaped camp. Yes both are fueled by desperation but they’d been holding back then. Tentative and not completely sure of anything yet, not their future, nor them. Now though it feels as though they finally feel alive again, hopeful, and there are no boundaries left between them. 

With difficulty Abby breaks away eventually, hands still in his hair, and her forehead touched to his. “I love you too” She says, and waits for his reaction. 

Marcus takes his time, first moving his hands from her back to her hips, then stepping back slightly to create a few inches of distance between them. She misses the contact instantaneously but when she looks into his eyes it’s replaced by a warmth no touch could ever give her. His eyes are filled with such pure admiration, love, and so many other emotions as he looks at her it’s almost too much. 

Finally he moves to kiss her again, but it’s slow this time, not hesitant but deliberant, as if he wants to make the moment last. His kiss is soft and sweet, a gentleness there that she never would’ve suspected he had a year ago, but that she’s now come to expect. 

They take their time exploring each other, kiss intensifying gradually and hands roaming each others bodies. 

Marcus fingers slide under the hem of her t-shirt to pull it up and she groans as his lips leave hers so he can pull it over her head. The moment it’s gone though they move flush against each other again and their hands continue roaming. 

When his hands slide over her bare back he freezes, and for a moment Abby doesn’t notice but then he steps away from her and there is so much terror in his eyes that she’s sure something has to be horrible wrong. 

“Marcus what…” She starts but stops again as she sees tears pooling in his eyes and she realises the answer to her question. He felt the scars on her back, the subtle almost unnoticeable reminders of shocklashing. 

He probably wouldn’t have even spotted them if he hadn’t been the one to inflict them. They’re faded now, after nearly three months on the ground, and they only stand out a millimeter or so. But he’s Marcus Kane and he never misses anything, especially not the scars he helped inflict. 

Abby steps closer and takes his hands between hers, kissing them softly. “Hey, listen to me” She says, “It’s in the past, we focus on what lies ahead”. 

There is so much guilt in his features. “I’m sorry” He whispers and he shakes his head. 

“I’m not.” She replies and she means it, “You did what was right for our people, you got the back in line. You made sure we’re alive today. I told you back then, I broke the law and I accept the consequences, that hasn’t changed Marcus”. 

He still looks uncertain but he takes in a shaky breath and nods anyway. He knows better than anyone that she never says anything she doesn’t mean. 

Abby kisses him and lets his hands drop so she can wrap her arms around his neck so she can deepen it by pulling him closer. 

Then suddenly Marcus’ hands are on the backs of her thighs and he’s lifting her up, mouth never leaving hers. Abby instinctively wraps her legs around him as he moves them to the end of the bed. 

He lowers her down carefully and she groans in frustration as his lips once again leave hers. He smirks as he sees the pout on her face and Abby is ready to slap him until he distracts her by swiftly taking off his shirt, and suddenly she’s too busy taking in his chest to remember anything else. 

His pants are next to go, right after he’s toed off his boots, and then he’s almost naked, his boxers the only thing still on his body, his growing erection evident against the thin fabric. 

Abby realises she’s still wearing way too many clothes to be acceptable, almost aching with the longing to have his skin pressed up against her. She tries to focus and makes quick work of unclasping her bra, letting the straps fall down her arms and tossing the thing aside without a second thought. 

It wouldn’t’ve seemed possible but Marcus’ eyes widen even further, his pupils blown wide with undiluted desire and Abby takes a moment to appreciate the effect she has on him, smiling coily. 

However, Marcus is now impatient too and he removes her shoes, before reaching for her jeans and undoing the button, before slowly sliding down her zipper. 

Abby leans on her arms and props up her hips so he can take them off and he does so almost effortlessly. 

They’re both almost naked now, the tension in the room palpable and they take a few seconds just to appreciate the moment. It’s new and exciting and at the same time it feels familiar and comfortable. It’s a lot to take in. 

Marcus is the one to break the silence, “Move up”. She turns around and does so, crawling on all fours, making sure to wiggle her hips more than necessary. It makes her feel like a teenager but when she lays down on her back again, head resting on the pillow, and sees the hungry look in his eyes it makes it all worth it. 

Apparently satisfied he joins her on the bed and hangs over her, lips meeting hers for a soft kiss. Before Abby can deepen it though he trails away to her ear, and softly nibbles on her earlobe. Then he moves to the bottom of her neck, where it meets her shoulder, and sucks on her skin. She can’t help the moan that escapes her and angles her head to give him better access. 

He makes his way down her body like this, sucking, kissing and biting gently on her skin every inch or so, savoring her completely, roaming his hands along her sides as he goes. 

His pace is torturously slow. Marcus is taking his time and staying away from where she wants him. Where she needs him. 

“Marcus please…”She groans, and she can actually hear the son of a bitch laughing. She tries to grind her hips up in revenge but his hands are still on her waist, pinning her down. 

Before she can protest any further however, he slides one of his hands over the fabric of her panties, rubbing her clit a couple of times, eliciting a moan from Abby. The fabric is damp already and Marcus delights at how ready she is for him. 

In one swift movement he pulls the panties down and she bends her knees so that he can remove them easily, lifting her feet when he reaches the end of her legs. 

He discards the garment and she’s about to lay her legs back down when he stops her and gently pushes them apart, settling in between her thighs. 

Anticipation is coiling inside of Abby and she fists her hands in the sheets, so that they won’t sneak into his hair without her permission, like they’ve done so many times. 

But then all logic and thought leaves because Marcus drags his tongue over her clit and she throws her head back in pleasure. 

Marcus is teasing yet efficient, pace changing from torturously slow to dangerously fast. He pushes her right to the edge then slows again and her body feels like it’s on fire. 

Her hands had found his hair at the first stroke of his tongue and the reasonable part of her brain tries to remember to not pull too hard, to not hurt him. It’s getting harder and harder to do however as he keeps pushing her to her limits, and finally her resolve wavers, as she pulls his hair roughly, trying to move him closer, to get more. 

At the same time she tries to buck her hips up, but his hands keep her down and he looks up at her and grins, eyes filled with mischief, and then he plunges a finger into her and she has to close her eyes, the feeling overwhelming her. 

A second finger joins the first, and then a third. He’s pumping into her at a moderate pace when his skilled mouth gets to work again, sucking on her clit, tongue darting out to lap up her juices. 

Abby feels herself getting close, her body is thrumming with intensity, walls contracting more and more as she reaches the edge. Marcus can feel it too and he quickens his pace, curling his fingers just right as he does so. 

And then she’s falling. Her orgasm rips through her full force, waves of pleasure coming over her, encompassing her. 

He delicately rides out her climax, before extracting his fingers, and places a final kiss on her clit before moving up her body and getting face to face with her. 

Her breathing is still ragged and she tries to slow it down, sighing contentedly and looking into his eyes adoringly. They kiss, soft and sweet, and Abby can taste herself on his tongue. 

“Thank you” she whispers against his lips, as their foreheads touch. Marcus smiles. “It was my pleasure”, he replies. And isn’t it just totally him that he means it completely, that there’s so much sincerity in his voice. 

They kiss again, languidly. Because there is no rush to it, they have all the time in the world to do this, to get to know each other better. To enjoy each other's company. 

Marcus’ erection grazes her thigh and Abby has half a mind to tease him like he teased her earlier, but then he did make it worth her while and if she’s being honest she can’t wait any longer.   
She breaks the kiss and stares intently into his eyes. “I need you Marcus” She says, and a choked groan escapes his lips. He might’ve asked if she is sure, but there’s such conviction in her gaze that he doesn’t bother. He just lines himself up with her entrance and slowly pushes forward. 

When he’s sheathed in her entirely he pauses, head falling to her shoulder, and she understands. It’s overwhelming how well they fit together, to finally be doing this after all the pent up emotions of the last few months. 

So she brings a hand up and cradles his head, presses a soft kiss to his crown and wraps her legs around his body as she does so. 

It’s enough to spur him into action and he nuzzles closer, presses a kiss to her neck and starts moving. Tentatively at first, giving her time to adjust, but soon enough he quickens his pace and she moans his name appreciatively, moving her hips up to meet his thrusts.

He’s such an attentive lover. Abby should have known this. Did really, only it still surprises her sometimes how much he’s changed since they’ve landed. The way he’s turned into a different man almost, with different priorities at least. 

As Marcus lifts his head again their eyes meet and she can clearly see it there. She’s his priority now. 

Then he moves his hand between their bodies, thumb stroking her clit, and she has to close her eyes again, throwing her head back into the pillow in pleasure. 

It drives her close to the edge again and it seems Marcus isn’t far behind because he fastens his movements, becoming more erratic, rubbing her clit in time with his thrusts. 

Their bodies slap together and Abby captures his lips in a sloppy kiss as she reaches her orgasm. Her walls clench around Marcus and his release follows immediately a few thrusts later. 

Marcus slows and touches his forehead against hers again, taking another moment to refel in their closeness before he moves off of her and pulls out, slumping down on the bed beside her. He takes her with him though and pulls her flush to his side, her body half lying on his chest, and their legs tangled together. 

Breathing ragged, they lay there, coming down from the high, and Abby traces intricate patterns over the slope of his chest. 

“That was amazing” She comments, and he grins sheepishly. “Yes it was. Definitely worth repeating”. 

Abby stifles a yawn and Marcus chuckles. “Guess I finally found a way to get you to admit your fatigue” He jokes, and she slaps him lightly. “As if you’re any less of an insomniac Marcus Kane” She accuses and it’s nice, this easy banter. 

“Go to sleep Abby” He says and she likes the way her name sounds coming from him. She’d argue but she’s too damn tired and comfortable to bother, so she just closes her eyes and snuggles in closer. 

His hand is tracing circles on her back, she can feel his breath with every rise and fall of his chest, and for the first time in a long time she feels happy. 

There will be more trouble ahead, and life won’t always be easy, they have the scars to prove it’s not. But she has Marcus by her side, her daughter close by, and before his breathing lulls her to sleep she has a final thought that whatever comes next, together they can do anything.


End file.
